It is just that under the football sub-section of sod’s law its
It is just that under the football sub-section of sod’s law, its recipients customarily come a cropper in their next match. According to Goodison Park’s management duo of Howard Kendall and Adrian Heath, the club’s return to form is all due to confidence. After months of doom and gloom at Goodison Park, the back-page lead in Merseyside’s morning newspaper reflects the upbeat mood enveloping Everton. But while Howard Kendall’s manager of the month award may be the only thing they win all season, Adrian Heath is not reading too much into it.
Heath is in no doubt that Kendall richly deserves the honour.
Firem axed coach, Kit Mann, following last week’s 6-1 FA Cup defeat, during which Mann’s 17- year-old son Herman played.Firem said he had been prepared to give the coach another chance until he discovered he intended to play his daughter, Wanda Mann, in today’s match. Heckinbottom said all proceeds from his future collection of poetry would go to the fund.However, none of Mr Gaffer’s former wives have been as generous. Each said they had to save their funds to cover lawyers’ fees when his estate is carved up. Already the trio have been involved in an unsavoury auction of their memories of the booze-and-birds life with the Gaffer. He is, depending upon reports, an insatiable five-times-a-nighter in the Hughie Green class, or a hopeless dud like our rival papers’ editors. A ransom note arrived earlier in the week accompanied by the sleeve of Mr Gaffer’s Puffa jacket to confirm its authenticity.
Among those contributing to the fund is Brian Heckinbottom whose conversion from malicious, violent centre- forward to budding alternative poet prompted Mr Gaffer’s trip to Central America.
His current wife, meanwhile, has denied reports that she had filed for divorce.The club chairman, Sir Hirem Firem, said he would do everything he could to get his kommissar back but had not been able to do much yet as he was too busy coaching the team in Gaffer’s absence. Worried fans at the Old Cornfield will today be asked to contribute to Sludgethorpe Brazil’s Save the Gaffer Fund. The fund, currently standing at pounds 1,074.27, is still pounds 998,925.73 short of the pounds 1m ransom demanded by the kidnappers of Barry Gaffer. “If Jurgen sees that his performance is no longer there, I’ll prepare him quietly for that And he’ll understand,” Vogts said this week “He leads the team well, even if he is not playing. He will also be strong in that role.” Udinese’s Oliver Bierhoff, Ulf Kirsten of Bayer Leverkusen, Olaf Marschall of Kaiserslautern, Carsten Jancker from Bayern Munich and Fredi Bobic of VfB Stuttgart are Klinsmann’s rivals for forward places.. Mr Gaffer, Brazil’s flamboyant football kommissar, has been held prisoner in the Central American jungle since he was kidnapped while checking on prospective signing Che Revolta. More solid, more together as a unit on the field than their Sixties successors for whom the transcendent invention of Law, Charlton and Best obscured the limits of others.