His designs are at the cutting edge but says Nonie Niesewand he would like to see them cutting or edging

His designs are at the cutting edge but, says Nonie Niesewand, he would like to see them cutting or edging their way into ordinary houses everywhere. The maverick young British designer Tom Dixon is about to become, if not a household name, a sort of household god. He may be a young man in a hurry but, pertinently for Habitat customers, certainly not a young man in a dhurrie. Then I gave up, and like all former smokers, now dislike the smell of smoke – as do our three children. With winter upon us and everyone spending more time indoors, I have now asked him to try not to smoke in the house We have no balconies or garden. Since I asked him he’s cut down to fewer than five cigarettes a day, but I would really prefer that he didn’t smoke in the house at all. He points out that I was a smoker till recently, and was a smoker when we met My reply is that people change, and so do situations.

It’s a health problem and a human one, and I wonder whether other readers have had the same problem What should I do?Penny.`Dilemmas’ returns on 1 January. Letters are welcome, and everyone who has a suggestion quoted will be sent a bouquet from Interflora. Send comments to me at the Features Department, `The Independent’, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL (fax: 0171-293 2182), by Tuesday morning, 30 December.And if you have a dilemma of your own that you would like to share, please let me know.. On 5 January Tom Dixon takes over as head of Habitat’s design studio.

It’s not that I do not want to buy her an interesting or exciting present, it is just that I can’t.I am too embarrassed to go alone into a lingerie department; I don’t know what size my wife is for clothes; she will never give me the slightest hint of what she really wants. When I did buy jewellery she complained that I bought her an identical piece in 1976. Anyway, we’re now too old to worry about these things, aren’t we?Concerned of Caterhamdilemma For 1 januaryUntil nine months ago my husband and I both smoked. Nothing has had any impact, and having received absolutely nothing, not even a card, on my birthday last month, I can confidently anticipate an identical experience this Christmas.

I would say this: I have been a lot happier since deciding that I was not going to have these special days ruined.If you have children, especially boys, continue to make every effort for them and their father and tell them you are hurt when they let you down. My husband doesn’t give me gifts but he’s definitely in the latter category I have accepted this as enough for me. Last Christmas, however, I spotted something perfect that he really needed, and he was very touched But he hasn’t given me anything. I live in quiet hope, not resentment!Name withheldMaybe he has Asperger’s syndromeI recently separated from my husband of 23 years He never bought me a present I liked, either Last Christmas he gave me a pair of wellington boots. “That’s a funny present,” my four-year-old daughter commented. When my children were born I seemed to be the only new mother with no flowers. After reading an article in the Independent on Sunday on 16 March this year, I deduced that he has Asperger’s syndrome, a mild form of autism.

The diagnosis has been confirmed by his psychiatrist.There is no cure, though I understand some couples have been helped with counselling. We tried three courses of Relate, but the counsellors did not understand what the problem was.My husband has other strange traits and rituals which made life as a family very difficult. If Fiona’s husband has Asperger’s syndrome then there is nothing she can do to change him, and I hope for her sake that he is just rather thoughtless or mean. She, in her turn, must respond in kind with a surprise present of her own. Cuff-links instead of a ring? A T- shirt with the words “This T-shirt is worn by the man I love” printed on it? A note promising dinner for two at the Connaught?This way, both she and he will have “something to open.” Both their inner children will be satisfied – and their outer ones as well, come to that. And the whole family will, hopefully, have a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year.what readers sayIf you love him, accept him as he isI think you need to look at your whole relationship with your husband.