Doughballs and garlic bread on the side

Doughballs and garlic bread on the side.The venueFirst, the sickbed, with a duvet cover for tablecloth Ambience: relaxed. Second night, a lad’s night in; dinner on coffee table in front of telly, with a supply of Kung-Fu movies.The orderMeal one: 12in Margherita. Meal two: 12in Sloppy Guiseppe, plus my own salad, garlic bread and beers.EffortHad to “drizzle with olive oil” before cooking. But even I can manage that.Enjoyment Biggest let-down was the pizza base – too floppy to scoff with fingers Means fetching plates and cutlery And washing-up. And if you’re eating it in bed with your girlfriend, it makes you feel more Terry and June than young urban slob The Margherita tasted of dried herbs The boys liked the Sloppy Guiseppe, though. “Impeccable distribution of topping ingredients,” said one, a TV-dinner connoisseur. But the spicy beef tasted cheap, à la Pizza Hut, and the base sagged under the weight of toppings Each fed two medium-hungry adults.

Unanimous verdict: not quite the Pizza Express experience we all know and love.Cost per head£4.25 for a 12in that’s supposed to feed three to four people, £3.25 for an 8in for one to two people.Sainsbury’s Taste the DifferenceThe MenuSainsbury’s new Taste the Difference range includes prepared meals of Toulouse sausages, roasted corn-fed chicken in red wine sauce; wild mushroom ravioli al forno; rump of lamb with baby potatoes; troifie pasta, green beans, new potatoes with pesto, and spaghetti bolognaise. These in addition to Sainsbury’s ethnic ready meals, the Be Good to Yourself low fat selection, “Just Cook” meat and sauces, East Meets West and many more.The VenueDinner on lap in front of the telly.Our OrderRoasted vegetable and Italian smoked mozzarella layered risotto.EffortTurning the cake onto a baking tray and covering loosely with foil. The only exertion was running to the corner shop to get the foil. Took 55 minutes to cook.EnjoymentI was pleased I wasn’t trying to impress anyone with my culinary skills, or lack of them. The rice was just right, but the vegetables were all quite chewy, except the peppers The pesto was undetectable and overall it was bland. For someone monitoring daily fat intake, the massive 23.2g per serving would rule it out I would rather have a couple of Mars bars. In the time it took this to cook you could knock up your own less fattening and tastier risotto.Cost£2.49 for 400g.Somerfield Fresh ApproachThe MenuFrom Somerfield’s Fresh Approach range of “five innovative chicken-based dishes designed to appeal to consumers seeking maximum taste and quality with minimum fuss”.The VenueThe kitchen table, amid a cataract of tax returns, books, CDs, baler twine, babywipe multipack, soiled dishcloth and a clockwork robot.

“Shall we have a candle, darling?” “Perhaps not, darling.” “Wine?” “Might help.”The OrderMoroccan-style skinless, boneless chicken thighs stuffed with couscous in an aromatic fruity sauce. We added broccoli and a bottle of 1995 Rioja with bits of cork in it.EffortShoved the thighs in the oven for 35 minutes; slapped them on a plate. EnjoymentThe thighs were leathery and felt somehow estranged from their sauce, which was aromatically fruity in the same way that jam is. Still, I observed a large fragment of apricot attached to one of them and thought this a good sign The unveiled couscous stood up on its own and was grey. It tasted vaguely of chicken and something else we preferred not to think about. Altogether, insufficient carbohydrate for two peckish slobs on a domestic date.