But such sensible humanism is apparently no better than the excuses of the gluttons and the

But such sensible humanism is, apparently, no better than the excuses of the gluttons and the adulterers. Ulysses is condemned as a thief and must suffer in Hell.In an admirable Preface to Robert Pinsky’s translation, John Freccero deals with past attempts to enjoy the poem without revulsion. Coleridge advised us to “suspend disbelief” and enjoy the poetry without accepting the theology. Erich Auerbach suggested we separate “Dante’s didactic intent from his power of representation”, and held that the reality of the condemned characters overwhelmed their allegorical meaning. Perhaps we should simply remember how Dante suffered from the ruthless power-seeking and political intrigue in Florence and take Hell as an accurate picture of politics today.The Christian God of the early Renaissance is cruel and vindictive, but his victims and the pilgrim visitors are capable of finer emotions. Hell, in short, was made on exactly the lines that the present Home Secretary would wish to impose on our present sentencing system.
How do we reconcile the enjoyment of a great poem with what must seem, to many of us today, a repellent theology? Our own views may be best captured by Ulysses in his speech to his sailors. No attention is paid to mitigating circumstances, or the idea of doing justice to the individual soul before the Divine Court.

He was the God who not only turned a blind eye to Belsen, but also exercised great ingenuity in constructing His own blood-chilling concentration camp, where sinners should suffer, not only during their brief lives, but for all eternity. What is particular about Dante’s God is that He consigns sinners to their particular circle in Hell according to an immutable tariff of offences. The God of the Inferno has precious little compassion and no forgiveness. “It’s such a brilliant name.” Then she smiled at me with her clear blue eyes, and I fled. Dante’s Inferno is a 14th- century poem that seems calculated to cause the greatest possible pain to a 20th-century humanist, or to anyone who is attracted to Christianity because of its compassion and belief in the possibility of redemption.

“What about slurry,” she was saying, “with night soil woodwork?” “Well,” he replied, “I’m getting keener and keener on My Little Pony with sea slug.” I decided to ask for help Leant across “Which of these two yellows d’you prefer?” I asked her She took the cards and thought “I’d go for frenzy if I were you,” she said. I became paralysed: this was my first experience of synaesthesia. Could I cover my living room in something called Charlie Girl and not be plagued by images of Sixties models with swinging handbags? If I opted for the jolly pink of Scaramouch, would Freddie Mercury’s voice ring constantly in my ears? Why do paint companies do this? What’s wrong with a simple Y037?The couple next to me were still negotiating. That would be lighter on the walls.” “Hey!” she said, waving a card of sulphurous greens, “What about brimstone?”I leaned round the side of them and helped myself to cards of yellows.

For the first time in my life I realised there is no such thing as yellow: there’s somersault, Guy Fawkes, tambourine, party day, October glo, Aztec gold, yellow rice, bright sun, new daffodil, golden vista, salute, little miss, jubilee, beachball, procession and stonecrop. “Maybe pantechnicon, with quicksand in the alcoves.” “No.” He scratched at an imaginary stain on his coat sleeve “I think sorcery would be better in the alcoves It’s pinker. And perhaps this one” – he indicated a dirty tan – “aerobics. “Have you seen the size of those saws?Before the colour card display, the other couple were engaged in debate over a series of dirty browns “I don’t know,” she was saying.

Just don’t take all day about it, OK?” “I thought you said you wanted to help decide It’s your bedroom too, you know. Shall we pick a border while we’re here? Would you like a border?” “Christ.” He was gazing back at tools. It was the smile of the banjo player in Deliverance: inbred, toothless, psychotic. His eyes followed me down the aisle, obviously planning where to send his brothers with their shotguns. At last I saw my destination: an oasis of normality in a dangerous world Or so I thought.Two couples were there before me Both sets wore overcoats One pair stood in front of pots of pure brilliant white “Do we want it in sheen or silk?” she asked “Well, I don’t know, you decide. I shrugged into my collar and slunk on towards paints.Which lay through garden accessories. He had that haunted look of someone who is choosing weaponry for the coming holocaust.